Accounting for Everything

New IRS auditor, eager to make a name for himself, decided to review the tax returns of the local synagogue. He assumed they were turning some unreported revenues somewhere, and was determined to find it.

He proceeded to interrogate the Rabbi, asking him what the Synagogue did with the wax drippings from the Shabbat, Havdallah and Chanukah candles.

The Rabbi, pleased to show the auditor that nothing went to waste, responded that the used wax is collected and sent to a candle factory and they send the temple new candles.

“What about the crumbs from the matzah you eat at Passover?” asked the IRS auditor.

“Simple,” the Rabbi responded. “We collect all the crumbs, send them to the matzah bakery and they send us matzah meal.”

All right, said the auditor, refusing to give up. I know that you’re a moyel as well as a Rabbi. What do you do with the leftovers from the circumcisions?”

“That’s easy too,” said the Rabbi. “We send them to Washington, DC and they send us back little pricks like you.”